The Bottom of the Cup

Campus: San Diego State University

Story shared:
Aug 19th 2009
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    I came to college with the promise of tons of good looking girls and crazy parties.  When I arrived on campus, I was completely shocked by how much this promise was true.  Free from my parents and given the ability to be free and make my own choices, I was finally being a little rebellious (which I had not been in high school whatsoever).  One night I was offered by some friends on my floor to go to the InterVarsity  BBQ that kicked off the year.  Beau, the campus staff worker, had been speaking that night about jumping into religion giving it a chance – comparing it to a hole on the beach with an octopus in it.  At that moment I thought God and Christianity could be something worthwhile, but thought to myself that I really did not have room for it in my life if I wanted to have ‘fun’ in college.

    I then joined a Fraternity the next semester trying to fulfill the so called “college dream”.  I began filling my life with girls and drinking trying to fill my life because I felt empty inside.  I wanted to be considered popular.  I wanted to be wanted by others.  I was being selfish.  I was craving the acceptance of girls.  I wanted a relationship and always envied it, because I thought with one I could be happy.  It really didn’t matter to me who it was with,  I just wanted so much for someone else to want me as I desired them.  I was viewing women as an object,  and thought that through them I would be popular – the more I was able to hook up with, the cooler I would look to everyone around me.  I had the cup that was my life in front of me and I kept trying to fill it, but the bottom was cut off. The more I poured into it the more empty I felt.  It was at this moment that God started knocking on my door trying to wake me up.

    He sent someone to give me that wake up call.  One night during the semester I saw my Big Bro Joel with a red cup seeming a little tipsy.  I asked what was when in the cup, immediately thinking it was vodka because it was clear. I thought, “wow this guy is hardcore, straight vodka?” Joel explained it was water and that he no longer drank.  I wondered how someone could be so happy not partying and not drinking like so many others like me.  This was when the desire to find God filled me.  I decided to go to Greek IV with Joel and some of the other guys from my fraternity just to see what it was all about.  The first couple of meetings were great, but I still hadn’t found God the way I truly wanted.  During this time I had stopped drinking and was slowly making changes towards the path I am on now.

    Finally the first week back from Spring Break I had my experience I was longing for.  When I was talking to the group at Greek IV I put all my trash out there and shared how I wanted to answer God’s personal call for me and be a Chaplain in the Navy.  From that moment on I began feeling whole; I was happy. Jesus and God allow me to know that they are always there for me. My cup now had a bottom on it and I could see it becoming much more full just as Joel’s was that night I met him. I think now of how Jesus took to the cross everything that I had previously been longing for. He sacrificed his life for everything I wanted, I just needed to find it in the right place with him. When Jesus rose, he rose to give me the power to want to be with him and the power to resist all the temptations I was feeling, like girls and parties.  Now I can say I don’t feel alone.  I feel as if Jesus is always there for me, even when no one else can see him – I feel him. He enables me to do anything no matter how scary the future might be.  Don’t deny God as I did just because you think it will keep you from having an amazing college experience.  That is wrong, as I have now come to see that the only way to truly enjoy life is through God.  I’m glad to have had him in my life and could not be happier.

    Pat Barbour This Greek IV story was shared by Pat Barbour
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    Author Bio: Pat is a Sophomore at San Diego State University and is a member of ZBT Fraternity.

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